Sundeelia: How is Karma Balanced?
“People get into a heavy-duty sin and guilt trip, feeling that if things are going wrong, that means that they did something bad and they are being punished. That’s not the idea at all. The idea of karma is that you continually get the teachings that you need to open your heart. To the degree that you didn’t understand in the past how to stop protecting your soft spot, how to stop armoring your heart, you’re given this gift of teachings in the form of your life, to give you everything you need to open further.” Pene Chodron, Buddhist Master
Here is another suggested topic based on what I have shared about what I remember from a couple of past lives:
Chris: I think I might be correct in assuming that you incurred in negative karma with your own self by sacrificing yourself for others, due to the Universe mandate that we have to care for our welfare first. So, in this case you were putting others’ welfare above yours and this created karma. So, my first question is, how did it balance out with you healing from trauma caused *by others* as opposed to by your own self again?
If and when you read the books that I hope to publish this year or next, the answer above would be answered. Still, I will attempt to convey what I have learned about myself through the process of writing out these stories of a man called Raphael DeAires Kantor.
Karma can be positive or negative. Nevertheless, it is simply energy and depending on our choices, we incur karmic imbalances throughout the course of any lifetime. When I chose to reincarnate upon a tribal isle in the midst of a galactic war, I put myself into the midst of potential danger. My family was nomadic and traveled upon the deserts of Morova, one of the Isles of the Pleiades. We were attacked in the night by raiders looking for young slaves. My parents and older extended family members (cousins, aunts, and uncles) were all killed. There were three small enemy ships involved in the raid. Since I knew how to telegraph an ancient battle language via telepathy, I was able to contact someone who was listening to the ethers, who contacted men who could aid in freeing me and my young relatives (a sister and two boy cousins) from the slavers. Yet, due to the disturbance in my life, I grew angry and resentful when I found myself stuck in a boarding school with complete strangers unable to travel upon the vast reaches of the desert with my family.
Yes, it would appear that I experienced trauma due to the ‘actions of others’ but those others were acting as a mirror for me. During the course of that very short life, I was rebellious, willful, angry, and stubborn. I wasn’t focused on being of service. Perhaps I just didn’t have the time allowed to come into balance in that life, but it was a time when my home world was under frequent attack by men who came from the sky with evil intent to disrupt our lives.
“The word “karma” means “action,” not “fate.” In Buddhism, karma is an energy created by willful action, through thoughts, words and deeds. We are all creating karma every minute, and the karma we create affects us every minute. It is common to think of “my karma” as something you did in your last life that seals your fate in this life, but this is not Buddhist understanding. Karma is an action, not a result. The future is not set in stone. You can change the course of your life right now by changing your volitional (intentional) acts and self-destructive patterns.”
With this quote in mind, it is clear to me now had I not run away twice from adults who were attempting to keep me safe, I might not have died so young. The impulsive urges within compelled me to place myself in danger, truly a self-destructive pattern.
In my next life, I was determined to change my ways, but again I was plunged into circumstances that were beyond my control at least initially. Yet, what I was eventually to arrive at was a self-acceptance of my own gifts, my own inner being that was unsullied by some of the harshest treatment given to a child short of killing it.
As an adult, I had to learn to utilize and to accept the powerful gifts I had unwittingly honed during my captivity, as I strived to simply survive in the midst of tremendous and nearly overpowering darkness and threat against my very existence. I wanted to live and so I armored myself with Light, creating a nearly impenetrable energetic barrier that prevented my being overcome by the darkness. In the end, as an adult, due to my earlier suffering and trauma, I knew the heart of darkness. I could decipher and detect a whiff of darkness in the heart of any man or woman who stood before me. I knew the darkness for the deceiver it was and I was not afraid to confront it, within others, but most especially within myself. I chose to take responsibility and actively and consciously worked to root out my own self-doubt, my anger and resentment, my rage at being used by others, including members of my own family, blood and adopted. I learned valuable lessons of self-acceptance and self-knowledge, admitting that some of my earlier decisions and choices may not have appeared wise or safe, but the consequences of these choices and my willingness to expose my inner doubts and fears, allowed me to become an authentic human being.
So, yes, I had been traumatized. I had been used, but in the end, I used the power of the Light within to resolve and dissolve my fear, my self-doubt, and to determine my future despite having been victimized in the past. I learned how my own choices led to others becoming the instruments of fate to bring my self-awareness into full consciousness, so I was no longer reacting and projecting my fear, doubt, and self-hatred out upon others. I learned how to use my inner light to expose all (or certainly much) of the darkness or shadow that was within my unconscious mind. As the darkness within was exposed to the Light (information) of my intent and focus, it dissolved and freed up the part of me (the traumatized child) so it might be incorporated into the adult self, the self-aware Self. I recognized what I had done to myself through my choices and how others acted as instruments of Fate that allowed me to make yet another choice: Do I remain in darkness and fear, hiding from the Light? Do I resist the Light and seek to project my fear and blame on others? Do I continue to wallow in victim consciousness or do I step up, expose my own inner shadow, do the work, and reclaim my own power? Do I learn from my mistakes? Do I take the realization that I have arrived at regarding certain occurrences or choices I have made in this life or another and see what I could have done differently? Have I gained wisdom through my suffering and thereby chose to move beyond it? Or do I continue to deny, resist, act out, blame/shame others and act the victim?
I chose to expose my own inner fears, my inner shadow, to take responsibility for my own healing. I accepted that while my earlier choices had drawn me into painful experiences, I learned from these experiences and emerged stronger. Perhaps it took me years to arrive at a sense of inner balance and self-acceptance, but the work it took to reach that feeling of inner peace was worth all of the pain.
And due to my own experiences, I learned much about the nature of the inner man, the lengths that men will go to avoid self-reflection and self-examination for fear that they will be cast out if they show who they truly are inside. Yet, this fear of Self is a chimera, a paper tiger, powerless to destroy you unless you allow it to do so. Are you a victim of your own fear of the unknown parts of your very being? Do you believe what others tell you rather than rely on your own inner guidance? Are you so unsure of your inner innate intelligence (Light) that you continually choose to run away from it? Or are you like me, willing to dive into the inner turmoil and see it dissolve, fade, disappear as the Light exposes what is truly there within you… a powerful, creative Light Being of limitless potential. It is a choice. Ultimately, it is your choice. Expose the darkness within or continue to be fearful of the dark, both within your own being and outside of you. It is one and the same, a lack of information… that is all that darkness is, a simple lack of information. In terms of your own inner shadow, it is those areas of your self that you have been unwilling to examine, to investigate, to expose. Who are you really? Who am I?
I consciously chose the path of achieving self-knowledge and self-awareness. No, I wasn’t perfect… I am still not perfect but I am determined to gain as much self-awareness as is possible during one singular life time and to use that self-knowledge for the benefit of others, for my family and my people. This quest of mine is worth a little pain and discomfort. It is certainly worth my effort, focus, and intent, for in freeing myself of inner darkness, I shine more Light into the world, into my own life, and into the lives of others. I have become a conscious Light-bearer, holding my torch of self-acceptance, inner wisdom up in the face of the darkness that has threatened to dominate this world. I am not afraid for I have seen the true face of the darkness and it is nothing before the Light, Source creative energy that is naturally intelligent.
Choose to shine your Light out upon the world, but understand that in doing so you will aggravate both the shadow within yourself and the shadow without, that resides in ‘other’. Do not fear the shadow, for when you raise up your Light… when you turn up the light switch, the darkness will dissolve, disappear, for it has no power unless you willingly consciously or unconsciously give your power to it. Once you resolve to take back that power, the dark will never, ever be able to hold sway over your Light. It is powerless to do so as it is an illusion, unreal, without the ability to create. It steals your power (through making you fearful) to make itself powerful. Remove its ability to control, to dominate, to lie to you, to place yourself under a misapprehension of the truth. Gaining self-knowledge, self-awareness, and a connection to your own inner wisdom will grant you the necessary courage and endurance to overcome any obstacle that comes your way… if done with humility, and acceptance of Grace.
You do not become a powerful Light Being to lord it over others. You become a powerful Light Being to serve others and in doing so, you serve yourself, your future, and the future of humanity and all Life. You do the work of the Creator for it has granted you courage, intelligence, hands, and a heart to do the work of self-evolution, as an example for all who come into contact with your Presence.
Go in Peace. Shine your Light, your true light that has become evident to yourself as you do the work to excavate and dissolve the shadow material from within your own being.
I AM Sundeelia.
© All Rights Reserved. Videos and recordings of this written material are not permitted. Author: Eliza Ayres, https://sunnysjournal.com